Fifty Five Minutes

Things you can do in 55 minutes... Watch a TV show, get ready for the day (if you're as slow as I am), you can watch half a movie, take a nap, workout, bake cookies.. The list is endless. Really, when you think about it, 55 minutes is quite a bit of time. Especially if you're waiting for the time to pass... 55 minutes can seem like FOR-EV-ER! When having a baby however, 55 minutes is NOT long enough. In fact, it's hardly ANY time at all. Delivering a baby in 55 minutes, is right up there with dang near psychotic. 

For the two weeks leading up to delivery I had been sitting at 3.5 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. I thought FOR SURE that I was going to deliver Linus early, like I did with Ruby. But little man definitely had other plans for me. Being pregnant for 39.5 weeks was the longest I had ever been pregnant (I know... childish) but for me, mentally, emotionally and physically, I was EXHAUSTED and 100% over being pregnant. My mom told me that Linus just wanted me to experience new, exciting and greater things from this pregnancy. (Thanks buddy... Thanks.)

August 17th. Daniel stayed home from school that morning to help accompany me to the doctor. The two weeks prior to this checkup my doctor had been out of town, I had been a little nervous to deliver without him, but with him being back, and being so close to my due date, I was more nervous about a possible induction. (Something you should know about me, I am an extremist, a minor headache and I think I have a brain tumor. The thought of being induced lead me to worry that he was going to be too big, that the contractions were going to be too much, that I would need an epidural, or that there would be complications and I would need a C-Section - none of these are wrong, or bad they just weren't things I had experienced, and the unknown absolutely terrifies me.)

Walking in to the doctors office these are the fears that were swirling around in my head. I am so grateful and blessed to have not only a husband who understands and loves me despite my crazy, but also a doctor who knows almost every single thing that is taking place within my head without me needing to voice or say anything. He addressed my fears of being induced, my fears of how low my risk was of having a C-Section (since I delivered my first baby vaginally, with no complications or drugs) and before we left his office that morning, we had a scheduled induction date - August 24th, the day after his official due date. He of course checked me, but I was still sitting at a 3.5 and 80% - nothing had changed, and as frustrating as it was, and as disappointed as I was that NOTHING was happening, I was feeling more relieved to have an end date in sight, and to know that in a matter of 6 days (or sooner, depending) I was going to meet my sweet baby boy. 

When we got home around 11 that AM I was having contractions. (Not that big of a deal, since I had been having minor contractions 4-5 times a day for the last week or so.) And even more unsurprising since the doctor had just checked me an hour before. Daniel and I debated for awhile about whether or not he should go to school, and if he did how he should get there.. We eventually decided that yes he should go to school, and I believed we had settled on him taking the car. (Yes, this is some MAJOR foreshadowing.)

He left around 12 or so, I got Ruby some lunch, turned on a Mickey Mouse clubhouse episode and figured I would continue lying down and let the contractions pass. I totally fell asleep. As I woke up, the show was ending and SURPRISE! So had my contractions. I decided to put Ruby down for her nap, and headed on in to my own bed to continue napping. After laying down I immediately sneezed and felt some weird things shift and pop - 2 minutes later and the contractions has come back. This time however they were a lot stronger, and so I figured I should probably start timing them just to be safe. After the first two, it became apparent that these were pretty intense contractions as I was having to get up out of bed just to get comfortable enough to continue having a contraction, and my timer was telling me that they were about 3-5 minutes apart. At this point, as I was bent over the bed, timing contractions, and trying to determine if this was the real deal, I began googling "What it feels like when your water breaks." With Ruby the doctor had broken my water, and I was deep in to contractions to even remember what the heck that felt like etc. So I wasn't sure what to expect. Some women described it as a "continuous leaking of water" others described it as a "GUSH!' (Are you gagging yet? Ha ha...) In the middle of my google search I felt the immediate need to go to the bathroom, and at the exact moment I stood up Linus decided it was time to make his grand entrance, and karate chopped. My water breaking? Definitely more of a gush. (This happened at exactly 2:10 pm) 

I remember standing there thinking, this can NOT be happening. But it was. And as I began to gag and dry heave, I knew it was time to make some phone calls. First two calls were to my husband, who did not answer his phone. (Side note, I had bought the man a freaking Apple Watch for his birthday a week before for this EXACT reason. So that when I called to tell him I was going in to labor, it would ring on his stupid wrist. A lot of fat good that did me.) I hung up and immediately dialed my mom. Twice. No answer. FOR WEEKS my family had been sitting by their phones, and THE ONE TIME I ACTUALLY needed them... Nada. I began furiously texting Daniel "911" over and over telling him my water broke. At this point I began to panic a little, how the heck was I going to get myself to the hospital?! Thankfully my mom called me back and began to talk me through breathing and staying calm. Ruby was in her room "napping" and I informed my mom that I had gotten in to the shower because I just felt nasty. In the middle of talking to my mother my husband called me back. I told him that my water had broken and that it was go time, to which he replied "Can you come get me?" I'm sorry, WHAT?! Turns out he had not taken the care like I thought we had agreed upon, and had instead taken the bus. During my furious contraction laced rant he told me he'd find a way home and hung up on me. I called my mom back, who by the way, is extremely calm and level headed when others are under duress, it is truly a gift. She made sure I was doing alright, that I was still breathing, she reminded me that I was strong, that I could do this, and that I needed to call Cody. Halfway through our conversation and all of the sudden I felt like I needed to push. For a brief two minute period as I was listening to my mom loudly tell me to keep breathing and that I was NOT going to have the baby in the shower, I thought for sure, 100% that I was going to deliver little man in the shower. 

Somehow I made it out of the shower, got dressed, managed to call Cody and finish throwing things in my hospital bag. (Remember all those first time parenting tips and tricks?? Well one of those is to make sure that your hospital bag is packed and ready to go by like month 8. I had failed to finish packing my bag, and my husband hadn't packed one at all. Ooops...)

My mother got to me first, closely followed by my husband and our dear sweet friend Cody, who came to sit with Ruby until Daniel's mother Krystal and her husband Matt got there. (Side note: Daniel was just sitting down with a patient when I called him the first time. (He's in dental school, fourth year!!) He informed his patient that his wife was going in to labor and that he could either reschedule their appointment, or he could refer him to another student. The patient chose to reschedule, whereupon Daniel asked him if it was at all possible for this patient to drive him home to his house. The patient, bless their heart, agreed. Probably the one of the strangest things to have ever happened to that patient, but I am seriously so grateful to them for brining me my husband.)  I was furiously throwing things at my mother to pack, shouting instructions at Cody while being hastily ushered out the door by my husband. Outside my mother had stopped to ask if she should follow us, meet us there, to which I loudly shouted at her to just get in the CAR! :) I remember Daniel coming around to the back and telling me that he needed me to put my seatbelt on because he was going to have to drive fast. And off we went. 

Contractions are bad enough on their own. Throw in having to sit up (the seat was reclined, but theres only so much reclining you can do in a car), breaking and making turns/driving through curves and thats a whole new experience. Seven minutes away from the hospital and that feeling of needing to push hit me again, BIG TIME. I remember my mom holding my hand, looking me in the eyes and telling me that I was NOT going to have the baby in the car. Daniel kept loudly reminding me to breathe and that we were almost there. 

When we reached the hospital Daniel helped me out of the car and in to a wheel chair, my mom wheeled me in to the emergency room explaining to the nurse who met us inside that my water had broken at 2:10 (it was then 2:40) and that I needed to push. The emergency room nurse then informed me that she hadn't delivered a baby in years, and that I was not going to have this baby in the emergency room, or in the elevator. (At this point, I begin thinking that people did not WANT me to have this baby.) She began wheeling me down the hall shouting at people to "MOVE!" and "GET OUT OF THE WAY!" As they rolled me on to the labor and delivery floor I thought I was going to die. I had wanted too, NEEDED too push for like 20 minutes, I knew that if I didn't get the chance soon, it wasn't going to really matter as he was going to come no matter what. As we rushed up to the front desk my mom began explaining (again) that my water had broken at 2:10 and that I needed to push. The nurses were furiously handing her paperwork to sign, all the while attempting to ask me questions, reminding me to breath, and to not push, at which point I loudly exclaimed, "Cuss word!" Out of sheer pain and irritation.  

Finally they began wheeling me down the hall to a delivery room, gathering and picking up nurses along the way. We were about 10 nurses deep by the time we entered the room, all of them buzzing around, fixing this, checking that etc. My mom went to help me from the wheel chair, and I remember her saying that I needed to make it in to the bed, as I was not going to deliver the baby on the floor. They finally got me in to the bed and tried to hook me up to an oxygen mask to help make sure baby boy was getting oxygen. One of the nurses finally came over to check me to see what was going on. She was super sweet, but you could tell she had dealt with lots of delivering moms, "Let's just see where you're at" like I was making it up. (All this time by the way, Daniel was out parking the car in long term parking, thinking that it was going to be awhile before the baby came, and that he had plenty of time to park and meander his way up to the delivery floor.) She ran in to his head immediately and told me it was time to push. Uhhh.... YA THINK?! WHAT THE HECK HAD I BEEN TELLING ALL OF YOU PEOPLE THIS WHOLE TIME?! :) The nurses kept trying to move me from one side to the other, and hold my oxygen mask in place. I eventually pushed everyone away and ripped my oxygen mask off. Not only were they irritating me, but they were making me extremely claustrophobic. 

Since it had been so long since my water had broken to the time when I actually got to the hospital to deliver, Junior's heart rate had dropped. The doctor (who, by the way, was not my actual doctor) was extremely worried about Linus, and informed my mother that he needed to come out ASAP. I vaguely remember my mom taking my hand and telling me that Linus needed me to be a super mommy, and that it was time for him to get here. I pushed once, I pushed twice, Daniel walked in the room, I pushed a third time and BLAMO - Baby, and boy did he come out screaming! 

I remember when they placed him on my chest, and I looked down at him and thought, my GOSH he's HUGE!  And he was, he came in at a glorious 11 lbs and 21 inches long. Since delivery was so fast, the adrenaline leaving my body was also so extreme that they had to wrap both baby and I in several warm blankets to stop my shivering and shaking. Thankfully with him coming so fast, and being so big there was minimal damage to my body - ya'll know what I mean! 

My little snuggle bug. 

My actual doctor showed up 5 minutes later laughing about how he had been so gentle in checking me earlier that morning. He couldn't actually believe it was me when they paged him letting him know that I was going in to labor. I was definitely bummed he didn't deliver Linus, but thankful it didn't take that long either.

Daniel's mom and Matt brought Ruby up to the hospital. She was so cute when she got there. They had taken Linus out of the room for some blood work so he wasn't there when she arrived, but she kept looking at my tummy wondering what the heck had happened and where her baby brother was. When they finally brought him back in to the room, and we introduced him to her, the first thing she asked was if she could hold him. Watching her as she held him that first time, you could tell they knew and loved each other. Just a beautiful sight. She also helped give him a bath - seriously all the heart eyes. Right from the start she loved that little boy and wanted to be such a big helper. 

Livin that hospital life. see that faint green glow behind his head?? 

Since delivery was so quick and crazy we had to stay the full 48 hours to make sure Linus didn't get sepsis (I hadn't made it in time for antibiotics). Thankfully we cleared that hurdle with flying colors... But on the morning of our scheduled discharge, we discovered that Linus had extremely high levels of bilirubin (this is what causes jaundice in babies. Apparently my blood type and Daniel's blood type don't mix well, causing us to have babies with high bili.) It didn't REALLY come as a surprise to me, since Ruby had had it too, but they caught Ruby's early enough that we were able to monitor it and get discharged on time. Since they had been so focused on him possibly being septic we hadn't caught the bilirubin levels early enough. They had placed him on a bilirubin blanket all Friday morning and afternoon, but his levels were still high throughout the day. Friday night I was discharged, and Linus was moved to the pediatric unit to be placed under the bilirubin lights to help lower his levels. (If you have never seen one, it looks like a miniature tanning bed for babies. He had to be stripped to his diaper, and wear special eye gear. It was seriously heart wrenching.) It was the LONGEST 8 hours of my life, and nothing was worse than watching my poor baby be uncomfortable, sad, and unable to truly relax and rest the whole time. Thankfully I had my mom there to love and support me as Daniel was at home taking care of our baby girl. We took turns holding his poor little feet so that he could relax his body and get some sleep. I had to feed him every two hours. (This was a blessing and a curse in itself, thankfully my milk came in super quick, but with having to feed him so often I got engorged super quickly too - which eventually led to a plugged duct. Ahh the joys and challenges of breast feeding.) We watched the Olympics, Frasier, Cheers, I Love Lucy, a couple of infomercials - it was ridiculous. By 6AM we were exhausted, delirious, ready to go home. But again... His bilirubin levels were still high. After 62 hours of being in the hospital, it looked like we were going to be stuck there for another day. My poor mommy heart couldn't take it, and so I cried, like full blown UGLY cried in front of my mom, the nurses.. All I wanted was to take my sweet baby home and LIVE. But here we were, facing another potential day of discomfort for my sweet boy, and I just couldn't stand it. 

My little glow worm - workin' that bili blanket.  

In the pediatric clinic under the lights.  

My ugly cry must have worked, because the sweet pediatrician sent us home that afternoon. He had to use the bilirubin blanket for 48 hours at home (this is a green light that we had to keep on his tiny body for as many hours as we could throughout the day. It made him look like a little green glow worm.) But I didn't care because we were going HOME! Linus had two follow-up appointments (after being discharged Saturday) with the pediatrician to monitor his bili and weight (one on Sunday, and another on Tuesday) - and then his two week check-up, and circumcision, his kidney appointment and on and on and on.. It felt like the first month and a half all we were doing was driving from this doctor appointment to the next to the next. Looking back on it though, he is (and was) definitely worth it. 

Just one more reason I was so grateful for the DockATot.. Just swaddled him up with the blili blanket and stuck him in his dock.  

All those nerves and fears about loving two babies just vanished the first time I held both of them. Sitting there in that hospital bed with Ruby on one side and Linus on the other, I knew in that moment that they were mine. That both their sweet little spirits were supposed to come to Daniel and I, and that I was supposed to be their mama. Life has definitely been more colorful and bright and busy and louder with two kids. But being able to experience all these new firsts with two kids, and repeating some old ones with another baby has been fun. I love the way he looks at his big sister, and lights up when she comes around and talks to him. I love the way she's so concerned with him, always checking in on him, giving him kisses, just a simple little touch. I didn't think my heart was capable of loving more than Daniel until we had Ruby, or that I could love another little human as much as I loved her, but somehow you do. And it's amazing, because my love for both Daniel and Ruby has only increased as I have watched their relationship grow, and their interaction with Linus (like I could possibly love all three of them more than I already do.) 

So there you have it! Fifty-five minutes, three pushes, a beautiful boy, and we are now a family of four. We truly could not be happier. 

CHEERS!