When Daniel and I first got married, we were young, happy, and pretty healthy people. I was only 20 years old when we tied the knot, and Daniel was 22. We were BABIES! :) 

We began our journey together with relatively healthy habits. But as time went on, we both put on, what I like to call, our happy weight. (Happy weight, for those of you that do not know, is exactly what it sounds like.) I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with; we spent a lot of time together going out, living life, loving each other, and celebrating our new life together.... AKA food... Food... Eating.. And more food. 

On top of being a newly married couple both of us were working full time, as well as full time students. Enter frozen meals, fast food, and cheap snacks. As if that wasn't enough, as a young married woman, who was not even close to being ready to have kids, I was, of course, on birth control. (Or as we call it in our house, Satan Producer.) 

When you're newly married there are a lot of things to navigate and to figure out. Both of us being stubborn, head strong, independent, strong willed individuals caused a lot of stress, a lot of arguments, and a lot of strain on our marriage. Things kept piling on. We were broke college students trying to live in a house, we went on a lot of vacations. School was a huge stressor. It felt like the more we tried to get ahead, the farther behind we fell. 

Suddenly, I didn't even recognize the girl in the mirror anymore. The number on the scale told me that I was the heaviest I had ever been in my entire 22 years. This was a tough pill to swallow. I had grown up with an active lifestyle. I began dancing when I was three: tap, ballet, jazz, hip-hop, studio dancing, dance team. I struggled with body image, and an eating disorder. I didn't know what it felt like to be "out of shape" and "overweight". It was a quick and rapid spiral to a mental place I did not like...

In September 2010 we went to San Francisco to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. We were staying right in the middle of downtown, and so one afternoon we decided to go shopping. I found a pair of jeans that made my heart swoon... I remember standing in the dressing room quietly sobbing because I couldn't even imagine walking out of the dressing room to show Daniel (who loves me no matter what) the jeans, that didn't fit, in a size I had never worn. I have never been so low. In that moment, I knew something needed to change. 

Small subtle changes began happening here and there. We cut out frozen foods. Attempted to rid our bad habits of cheap and easy snacks. We tried to eat more fruits and vegetables. We watched our portions. The changes did not happen over night, and they most certainly did not happen all at once. We were living life one day at a time. Enter Beachbody... Late night television really does have it's perks. One night, late night binge watching, I stumbled upon an infomercial for TurboFire. An at home kickboxing workout. It was late, I was tired, I was desperate, and I was hooked. I bought TurboFire and began implementing it into my life, little by little. 

In December of 2010 we moved out of, and rented our house for two years while we finished up school. Daniel changed majors and started on a path towards dental school. I began doubling up on credits to finish up my bachelors degree a year early, and began applying to Graduate School. In June of 2011 I graduated with my Bachelors Degree from Portland State University, and in April of 2012 I graduated with my Masters in Teaching from George Fox University. Through it all we were insanely busy, bouncing from one activity to the next. We continued to try and implement those small healthy changes, but as many of you know, priorities shift and change depending on where you are at in life. 

I suddenly found myself freshly graduated, with no job, and a massive amount of free time. To me, there was no better time to really buckle down and work on myself. For two years I had dedicated my time to growing, gaining knowledge, and becoming a Teacher. Now it was time to gain, improve physically, and change my mental mindset. 

I dusted off those Beachbody DVDs, ordered a new at home workout, and began the slow and steady trek of becoming a better version of myself. A version that I knew was inside of me somewhere desperately waiting to get out. It was not an overnight transformation. Fitness is most definitely a journey. There is no true destination because there are always areas we can change, improve upon, and better. Sometimes the changes happen quickly, and sometimes they take time and patience. Small healthy choices, made every day, are what the journey is all about. 

With all that free time, and Daniel taking a year off of school to work before starting Dental School, we really had the opportunity and ability to motivate, encourage, and help each other. We began realizing that it wasn't just my journey, or his journey; it was our journey, and one that we needed to make together. Doing something hard is always so much easier when you have someone you know and love cheering you on! It makes the trek so much more worth it. 

In October of 2012.... We got pregnant. :) I was nervous. Excited. Elated. Terrified. Overjoyed. Scared. I put a lot of focus on staying healthy and strong and eating right, working out and making it to the gym. BUT! My body had other plans, and for the first 5 months of pregnancy I laid on my bathroom floor, or my parent's bathroom floor, or in my bed, or in my parents bed, as I tried my best to keep peaches and gatorade down. Being sick was awful, being sick for more than a week was horrible, being sick for more than a month was horrendous, and being sick for 5 was just treacherous. Pregnancy was not my friend. I did not enjoy being pregnant. And try as I might, I managed to gain a beautiful amount of weight. 

Regardless, Ruby was the greatest joy and blessing I have ever received. It's AMAZING! How incredible our bodies are. And for the first time in 27 years, I began to relish in awe of the things my body was capable of. For the first time in 27 years I felt really, and truly beautiful. It didn't matter that my face was adorably round, that I didn't fit in anything, or that I had gained a little more weight than I should have... I was making a HUMAN! What a gift!

I had finally begun to realize what I was missing out on all those years. I was enough. When you begin to look at yourself through the eyes of those around you, you truly begin to understand and comprehend your true beauty. Never once did Daniel ever make me feel less than, in fact throughout our entire marriage he has ALWAYS gone above and beyond to make me feel MORE than, and incredibly beautiful and sexy. I realized that it didn't matter what "flaws" I saw, because what he saw was so much more incredible. What my family saw was always better. What my daughter saw, was so much more than I could EVER comprehend. In those quiet early morning feedings I realized that I NEVER wanted her to ever feel less than, to think that she wasn't enough. And coming to that conclusion, opened up and changed my life. 

In December of 2014 Daniel began a committed fight to a healthier life. Here we were, a year post Ruby, still making small changes in our lives, but our consistency had fallen by the wayside, and we found ourselves needing another big change. In January I finally decided to join him. So many of my friends had begun to take control of their lives, and the changes I was seeing were incredible. I wanted a change too. But this time was different, I didn't want to change because I didn't like who I saw, I wanted a change because I LOVED the person in the mirror, and I knew she was capable of AMAZING things. The first couple of months were rough. I was working out consistently, but my eating would get sloppy, and then my eating would be on point, and my working out would get spotty. Daniel remained consistent. He was my ever present example. In my face. Consistent in his workouts. Consistent in his eating. He pushed me to greater heights, and to achieve more than I thought I could. 

February of 2015 was a big month. I turned 28, my grandmother passed away, and for the first time I found my true, real WHY. My grandmother was an incredible woman, but in those final years she allowed fear to take over her life, and she let herself become okay with never leaving the house, and not trying to stay active. I was heartbroken, frustrated, and swore (and made my aunts and mother swear to me) that I was not going to let that be me. I made a promise to myself and to her that I was going to live a healthy active life, that I was going to be able to run and dance and keep up with my great grandkids, and that I was going to do it for her, for me, and for my family. So I dug deep, set a goal, and suddenly... Everything seemed to get a little bit easier. 

In April 2015 I decided to become a Beachbody coach simply to help others realize their true beauty and potential. It was a scary decision, but a choice I do not regret. I have never felt so inspired, so alive and so motivated as I do when I am surrounded by people who are on their own fitness journeys. My goal in February was to have a 6-pack by October, simply to see if I could; so many other moms with kids had done it, and I thought why not me? (Never let ANYONE tell you you can't! You are capable of MORE than you could EVER imagine.) Thanks to Beachbody at home workouts, my support system, my coach, and my team... I have seen a transformation in myself both mentally and physically that I never thought possible. 

And now! Here we are! My mindset over the last 28 years has grown, changed, grown some more, and shaped who I am today. I love me. I truly genuinely, and honestly love myself. I love that I have learned through the help of others what healthy looks like, and that healthy isn't a one size fits all! I can make babies, harness food addictions, eat vegetables :) lift heavy, eat clean, be happy, learn, kick box for 60 minutes, personally develop, all within my own amazing body. Learning to love myself was the first step in a truly life changing transformation, without learning to love myself first, none of this would have mattered.