Yesterday morning, after waking up at morning 5am to help Ruby go potty, and then listening to her play for an hour or so. Only to be awoken moments later after finally falling asleep again by my hungry boy at 6:15.. And then putting my crazy girl back to bed at 6:30 and finally falling back in to bed again, I was exhausted. I must have sighed loudly, because my sweet husband turned to me and said, "Just think, soon they'll both be Ruby's age or older and they'll sleep through the night and go potty by themselves and when you could be getting all the sleep you need, you'll miss this. You'll miss hearing his breathing sounds, and listening to Ruby play over the monitor. You'll miss their white noise machines and helping them or feeding them in the middle of the night. They can't help that they love and need you Kate."
These were the things swirling around my head as I drifted off back to sleep, and woke up again later. He was right.
Of course I complain about the stacks of laundry, having to buy clothes cause my kids grow so quickly, the blowouts, the spit up, the coloring on our toys and body, constantly picking up toys, vacuuming.. the list could go on and on and on. But this morning, I already missed it. Someday they'll be grown with families of their own and they won't need me 24/7, and as exciting as that is (cause I'll be a grandma!) it's also horribly sad.
When Daniel and I first got married I did not want kids. Ever. Period. End of story. They weren't in my 5 year plan. I had goals and things I needed and wanted to accomplish. I didn't have time for kids. And now? (After having completed most of those things) I can't imagine my life without them.
Life is just more fun with them. Rainy days, sunny days, windy days, days filled with rainbows. Even those days that are hard, and tiredsome, or filled with sickness or frustration are more colorful with kids.
This morning Ruby got up to go potty at 8, and then asked to come snuggle in our bed. With all of us tucked in to our giant king bed, it suddenly felt so small and precious. My whole world was in that bed. My purpose. My reason. My life. My heart. My home. My people.
I'm currently trying to immerse myself in my day to day, to see the happiness and blessings in every little moment - regardless of the moment. Not every day is filled with sunshine and roses, nor is every moment. It doesn't make it easy, but the more I practice, I am hoping the better I get, and the more joy and blessings I'll see in my day to day with my kids. I think too, that as they grow older, I realize it is both a glorious blessing and a complete tragedy to watch. These may be my last moments - the last time I'll tuck Ruby in, or wash her hair, or hold her in my lap, and I don't want to take any of those moments for granted. Good. Or bad.
So here's to embracing today. Loving my family. Holding on to my world. Embracing the challenges. Being grateful for the trials. And living every day in the moment.
CHEERS beautiful people and happy Fri-Yay!!